Feb 2 - Feb 8 2025

 On Sunday, I hungout with Apollo. We finished “The End of the F…Ing World”. After that we watched some “Heartstopper” and started “JuJuTsu Kaisen”.

After theater on Monday, my father and I went and got snacks and stuff for the festival. I also got a journal in order to improve the quality of my posts.

Tuesday Feb 4 2025

I got to school early enough to hangout with my friends in the commons a bit. Roger (he/him),Flann (he/him) and I debated Shadow Vs Knuckles (Me and Roger team Shadow, Flann Team Knuckles). Then I just chit-chatted with Carrie and her partner. When it was time to head for class, Carrie, her partner, and I walked to class together. Carrie’s partner had a different class than us so they had to dip. Me and Carrie had biology together, we were doing labs that day. We split into groups of 3. Carrie, Bluey and I were a group. The first thing we had to do was prepare for tomorrow’s lab, which involved weighing an egg then putting it in vinegar to dissolve the shell. After we set that to the side we got started on our actual lab. The first thing we did was swab the inside of my mouth with a toothpick, which was odd, then we mixed my cheek spit with some blue shit on one of those clear things so we could look at it under a microscope. We were trying to identify my cells, it was freaky. Afterwards we took a piece of onion and covered it in the blue shit and looked for its cells under a microscope. Then we did some worksheet bass on our labs for the rest of class. My next class was algebra, we started off with some notes which was was boring but fine. Then we did a card activity with our partners, because we’re fucking 5yrs old apparently. My table partner was gone so I got partnered up with with a girl I’d never met. It was wildly awkward. Once I was freed from that social torment i got to go to lunch. Lunch was mac and cheese with a chunk of bread. A bunch of my friends didn’t want their bread so I had mac and cheese, applesauce, and 5 chunks of bread. There was also discussion of my friend group’s upcoming movie night. Once lunch was over I went to my 3rd block out in the ATEC, today was a lecture day in alignment. After that I walked with Gracie to her class as I usually do. One of the girls who does theater with me, I’ll call her Kat (she/her) also has that class, and this girl who use to pick on me usually hangs outside the class with friends. Kat has heard me complain to Bluey about this girl and she knows that she hangs in/around that class. Kat has asked about who she is. So while I was leaving I whispered to Kat that she was in the doorway. She walked over and looked in the most obvious way. I tried to make it less obvious by saying bye to Kat as I left so it looked like we were having a conversation. My next class was first aid. We practiced CPR on infant dummies. I don’t have friends in that class so instead of switching out with someone I had to thug it out. Which isn’t as bad with the infant dummy as it is with the adult dummy. We also learnt the basics of how to use an AED and practiced once with a training AED (which doesn’t emit an actual electric-shock). After that I had advocate. For some reason I thought I was supposed to go to my theater director’s room like I had the past few days. It turned out I didn’t though and I was pretty bummed cause I quite like it in there. It’s like a safe space. My director said I looked sad about it and I told her it was just because my advocate was all the way in the ATEC (which is a separate building from the main school). She said I could just stay there and that she’d excuse me. There were a few other theater kids in there. We mostly stood around my directors desk and talked about random crap. We also talked a little about a stolen hair curler. We have a theory on who took it. Once I got picked up and got home, I spent like an hour speed taping my boots to be all black for the show. I got to the theater in time. Since I’m tech and therefor didn’t need to worry about costume, makeup, or hair I had like and hour to spare. Birdie, Flann, Bluey and I all goofed around a bit. I had brought my shark purse since it was a good size to fit what I needed but not be a pain to have laying around. My friends thought he was pretty cool. Flann finally told me who he’s dating. I’m still not sure if he knew that I knew. I know his Bf knew I found out and how I found out but idk if they talked about it. I’m very happy for them, Flann’s seriously like a brother to me, I just feel bad about how I found out. (One of Flann’s bf’s friends who I was friends with was mad at his bf for dating Flann, and they told me all about the situation and how mad they were) It wasn’t fair to either of them. Now thats off my chest. Getting everything on stage went well. One of the seniors who up to then seemed to dislike me told me I did a good job. I don’t do anything else till the end of the show so I sat backstage journaling. The show went really well! My parents hadn’t come to the show, and when Kat asked me if I had a ride “I’ll figure something out” wasn’t sufficient. Kat told me she’d take me how, that was a statement not a question. I think Kat seems really cool and would actually like to become friends with her however I was a social mess that entire drive. She’s probably not gonna want to be my friend after that. She had mentioned liking to visit the cats at our local humane society in advocate that day. So I invited her in to meet my two cats. Our more moody cat was really calm and friendly which I’m really glad about. Our attention whore cat was obviously super friendly and walked over to greet her almost immediately. The attention whore ever sat by the door for a while after she left so he definitely liked her.

Wednesday Feb 5 2025

I had to be at school like an hour earlier than I usually did since we had our matinee. I slept through my alarm so Phantom, my older brother, had to wake me up. He woke me up at the time I wake up normally. So I had to speed run getting ready. I drank my V8 and took my vitamin C in the car. Then I ate my poptart and took my iron in the theater teacher’s room. Later while we were talking Birdie mentioned that he hadn’t eaten. So we went to the vending machine and he picked out fruit snacks. Now for a little trivia question, how many theater kids does it take to use a vending machine? The answer, 3 and like 10 minutes. Birdie, Flann and I went back to the theater room. Somehow the fact that Washington D.C wasn’t in Washington State came up. That’s how me and Flann learnt that. We were both truly heartbroken. I also went and got my portable charger back from Carrie. After all that, it was showtime. The first show went well. Afterwards, we had a little bit of downtime. So us three went back to the vending machine and got me a chocolate bar with almonds in it, and a community bag of mini Oreos. Flann also had a few bites of the chocolate bar because if one of us gets sick, we all get sick. After some more hanging around, it was time for the second performance. Getting everything onstage went well. Backstage me and Birdie and I talked about hanging out outside of theater. Apparently fruit snacks were all it took to get him to be my friend. Wish I’d known that sooner. (Im assuming that it was more so that it proved that I actually cared about him, and actually wanted to be his friend.) We also talked about our rubber duck collections a bit. Then he had to go onstage. When he came back we made plans to hangout on the 22nd. The show went well. While the actors were changing, tech went and loaded up the trailer with set and prop stuff. It was actually cold as balls out there. Carrie had been walking in the hall so I ran over and put my freezing hands on her bare shoulder. After assaulting Carrie with my cold hands, I got to go to lunch. I got a chicken sandwich, a cinnamon roll, and two cups of applesauce. Nothing terribly interesting happened at lunch. After lunch I went to 3rd block, since the matinee took place during 1st and 2nd block. 3rd block was just a continuation of yesterday’s lecture. I got out of that class earlier since I had an orthodontist appointment. At my appointment the lady was all like “lay down and I’ll take a peek.” The fucking second I laid down and opened my mouth she had her hands in there getting started on removing the wire. Like ma’am that is not a peek. After that I went home for a bit. I had like one class left and no rehearsal so it didn’t make sense to bother going back. After that I went to youth group with Apollo. They found out about the blog while we were there. 

Thursday Feb 6 2025

I woke up early to be 100% ready to leave for the one-act festival. I got to school early too, I hung out in the theater room with Birdie till it was time to load the bus. I wasn’t able to sit with Birdie on the bus due to some stupid rules. Though I didn’t need to share a seat with anyone which was nice. I spent the bus ride texting Birdie and watching “Sonic Prime” . We stopped for food, I got a taco salad. It was a bit hard to eat since my teeth still hurt from my orthodontist appointment but I prevailed. After food we went to were the festival was being held and watched a few performances. After that we went back to our hotel, our hotel was next to a TacoBell and a Pizza Hut, so we were permitted to walk over to either for dinner. I got a “Baja dream freeze” that I shared with Birdie from TacoBell. We also got those cheese stick things from Pizza hunt and shared those. After that, some of us went to the secondary directors room and played games and chatted. (Both directors were there, so was Pineapple and Strawberry) The secondary director lady had been talking about hair stuff and we ended up talking about braiding my hair so she did that. It was all really fun. Eventually it was time for bed.

Friday Feb 7 2025

I woke up at 5:36 and began getting ready. When I was all dressed and packed I went down for breakfast. I got my food and texted Birdie to come down and eat with me. I had oatmeal and a coffee. I ate my oatmeal while I waited for my coffee to cool down.  Birdie came down and we got him some food then sat back down. Birdie also managed to accidentally spill my coffee on two separate occasions. After breakfast we went and got Birdies makeup done and ran some errands for my director. Bringing tots down for the show, retrieving her food, starting the truck so it could warm up. Eventually we loaded the bus and went to where the festival is being held. We got everything in place for the show then we hung out in the dressing room for a while. Then came show time. We had a lot more room than we did in rehearsal. My wall got stuck on the curtain on the way out. On secondary director got it unstuck but I still failed at my single job. After the show we went to our critics. Then we loaded everything into the trailer and headed out. My friend from interp, who was also at the festival for their school, was waiting for me. The other kids went to grab a program. Pineapple stopped with me to talk to my friend. I told them about what happened with my wall. Pineapple was in the light booth, she insisted that no one could tell from offstage. She held my forearms, looked me in the eyes and said “‘Ghost, I love you, but you’re overthinking this” so maybe she doesn’t hate me. Once everyone was ready we went to lunch. I didn’t eat because food isn’t for failures. (I wrote this at the lunch table, and I feel like I should point out that it clearly isn’t a healthy mindset. My DMs are always open for anyone who needs to talk) I went to the bathroom to cry at one point, because it felt like everything was bubbling up. Someone told the director that something was up with me (it was either Kat, Flann, or Birdie) so she came in to check on me and sorta caught me crying. It was wildly awkward. I put on my best act though and I think I cooked. I put on a pretty solid act the rest of lunch. Everyone bought it, hook, line, and sinker. On the bus ride home I listened to music and did my best not to cry. When we got back to the school, we unloaded the trailer. My father once again failed to pick me up. Kat was also once again insistent I make her give me a ride. She came in to pet the cats again, she also met my bearded dragon and got a bit of a house tour. I still don’t think she wants to be my friend, however we’re making improvement. 

Friday Feb 7 2025

I spent the day doing laundry and binging “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” I made myself potstickers for dinner and accidentally set off the fire alarm. Other than that, the day was uneventful.

(Sorry for the VERYYY late post, I’m working to catch up now. I hope y’all like the new format btw.)